Category Archives: LGBT

My thoughts on JK Rowling’s TERFness

So I decided to finally put my feelings and thoughts into words after reading Rowling’s various novels, posts, and tweets about trans people, specifically trans women. She made news back at the end of March by liking overly TERFy tweets, and then when called out attempted to blame it on a “middle age moment” and holding her phone wrong so she accidentally liked it. For those unaware of what is going on, here the article on it from Pink News.

As a trans person, seeing someone who is supposedly super pro-LGBT+ excluding a marginalized group from the movement can be harmful for one’s mental health, especially if the person being marginalized was in some way looking up to that person or even was finding solace in the fandom (because Rowling had made comments about LGBT people at Hogwarts, but apparently she didn’t mean trans people from how she talks).

Outside of personal feelings, there are numerous issues with how she presented the character in the Strike novels. (More info on the novels here and here) She used outdated and harmful stereotypes against trans people, stereotypes that get trans people outright murdered (claiming they’re just men in dresses, that they’re child molesters, that they’re going to hurt people because they’re hiding behind “being a woman”) or has had legislation passed against them treating them like a danger to society.

While it turned out that the one character wasn’t trans, the fact that that was her go to for the female first name played into the stereotypes and painted trans people in a negative light. Similar sorts of things were done to gay men back in the 50s and 60s (and up to today sadly) where they were secretly going to groom and molest your male children and “turn them gay”. We see it with other marginalized groups as well, a person from a middle eastern country is most likely going to be cast as a terrorist or a villain, an African American man is most likely cast as a “thug” or a gang member while the woman is cast as “sassy” or a single mom who is dependent on welfare.

By using the harmful stereotypes against marginalized groups, authors and film makers cause great harm to those groups, because people who read/watch that media often don’t realize that they’re incorrect stereotypes and take it on face value because it wouldn’t make sense for an author/film maker to do that unless it was true, right?

In one of her other novels in the Strike series, she has the main character threaten to have a trans character arrested and makes prison rape threats at the person. She also uses stereotypes about trans women being overly aggressive, or overly masculine and who are basically just again, men in dresses. (Discussed here)

And with things like I mentioned before, the anti-trans laws being put into place, or the fact that in the US there are 48 states where the trans panic defense is a valid murder defense, or the fact that reparative rape is still something suggested to “fix” trans men (like myself), having a famous author or film maker pushing harmful stereotypes like this does a lot of harm for the marginalized group.

So far there have been at least 8 trans people killed in 2018 alone, which adds to the myriad of reasons seeing a famous person touting anti-trans rhetoric or spreading transphobia as something to be frightening or problematic/cause for fear in the trans community.

There is more info here for other TERF actions if you’re interested.

Gender issues in the workplace

This is from an assignment from my Communication and Gender class. We were asked to summarize an illegal gender-issue workplace problem and a legal gender-issue workplace problem. We were then asked to discuss why the problem exists, what is keeping it from being resolved, what is being done (if anything), and some of the communication challenges involved. I have put the problems in bold. (Citations were required, so I included them here as well)

Employment discrimination for non-public employees in regards to gender or sexuality is illegal in 20 states.

While most people are aware that one cannot discriminate against someone in the workplace for their sex, marital status, age, or disability, most people assume this also includes sexuality and gender, which for 30 states in the US it does not. While there are still many examples of discrimination occurring in the workplace for the classes protected in all 50 states, gender and sexuality are only protected in 20 states. This means that a transgender person can be legally fired from their job for being transgender in 30 states, and they have little to no way of getting justice since gender is not covered on a federal level. By leaving it up to the states to decide to protect gender or sexuality, it creates an environment where LGBT+ people often times are forced to remain in the closet about who they are, or in the case of gender, are forced to either take a job after transitioning, or spend their entire time working at the job pretending to be someone they are not.

Even in states where LGBT+ people are protected by a non-discrimination act, harassment and discrimination can still occur, which then requires the person affected to either out themselves to everyone, or to stay silent about their gender or sexuality. Another issue is that while it is illegal to discriminate against LGBT+ people on the basis of gender or sexuality in 20 states in the US, people can still discriminate but then give some other “reason” behind their actions, such as refusing to hire a transgender person who is open or unable to pass as their gender, or firing someone for being open about being homosexual (such as a man talking about his marriage and mentioning they have a husband and not a wife). Due to many states being either at will or a right to work state, some employers don’t even need to give a reason for firing a person, which then makes it much more difficult to fight against and prove the reason behind the firing or discrimination.

Currently there is work being done by groups like the Human Rights Campaign to have the federal government pass a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act (HRC, 2013), but without the removal of at will and right to work laws, the discrimination will still continue to occur as employers don’t have to disclose reasons behind their actions. Also, as can be seen with discrimination of cis women within the workplace, without proper enforcement of the laws and acts, the discrimination will continue and in many cases be swept under the proverbial rug until there are so many cases that people can no longer ignore the problem.

“As Senate Hearing Nears, Nations Leading Businesses Support Employment Non-Discrimination Act.” Human Rights Campaign, 9 July 2013,

The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 lists transgender people in the same group as pedophiles and people with sexual disorders.

While most people agree that those who are transgender do not fall under the Americans with Disabilities Act just for being transgender, the issue is in how the ADA words their exclusion. While the ADA was updated in 2008, the terminology of Section 12211 continues to list “gender identity disorders” and “transsexualism” as sexual behavior disorders (Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990, As Amended). The problem with this is not just that the term “gender identity disorder” is now viewed within the medical community as inaccurate and outdated, being replaced with gender dysphoria in the DSM-V and other medical literature, but that it lumps transgender people in with those who have sexual disorders.

While most people won’t take the time to read through the text of the ADA to reach Section 12211, by keeping the connection within the text it provides ammunition for anti-trans groups and organizations to compare transgender people with pedophiles, voyeurs, and sexual paraphiliacs. Groups such as Gender Identity Watch, which is run by an anti-trans woman known as Cathy Brennan, use text such as Section 12211 to justify their actions which include posting information about trans people (especially transgender women) on their website, doxing (exposing private information) of transgender people, and even stalking and harassing transgender people online. Their claim is that being transgender is a mental disorder that should be called autogynephilia (which itself is a mental illness created by Ray Blanchard that essentially states that certain men gain sexual arousal by thinking of themselves as a woman.), and it is just as dangerous and harmful to society as pedophilia, and as such trans people should be tracked, exposed, and “cured” of their mental disorder.

One of the major factors preventing this from being resolved is the lack of knowledge of what is within the act. Very few people have taken the time to read the entire act, and even though medical knowledge and literature has been updated regarding gender dysphoria and transgender people, legal documents and government acts require the government to justify amending or changing a piece of literature and this usually requires the legislative branch of the government to vote on the changes. As can be currently seen when it comes to transgender rights such as the ability to use the bathroom without being harassed or forced to use the wrong bathroom, it is an uphill struggle. To my knowledge nothing is currently being done to fix the wording within the ADA, and due to the constant pushback regarding matters of gender by not just the government but the public at large, it will take people actively working on adjusting their language and mental presuppositions about gender to create enough of a drive to fix the text within the ADA.

“Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990, As Amended.” 2008,

Straight Pride is Bullshit

Hey straight pride day creeps, Do you even KNOW the history of LGBT pride or pride month? Or are you just whining for not getting a cookie?

I’m being serious here. Do you even KNOW why pride month exists?

Do you even know that being LGBT+ used to be illegal? You want to whine about no straight pride? When has being straight ever been illegal? LGBT+ pride was born from riots, from standing up to oppression and hatred for being who we are.

Do you even know that in some states “sodomy” is still considered illegal? Even though the SCOTUS “invalidated” those laws? In 2003, the SCOTUS reversed the decision on sodomy laws with the case of Lawrence v Texas. That’s right, up until then, being gay was ILLEGAL in several states. But tell me more about your straight pride and the “oppression” you suffer from.

Sodomy laws still exist in Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, SC, Texas and Utah.

LGBT+ people are STILL more likely to be victims of murder or suicide than non-LGBT+ people, even today! Look at how many trans women have been murdered in just this year alone, or how many LGBT+ youth are committing suicide to escape the bullying or the hatred they receive from family and friends just for being who they are. How about the fact that reparative rape exists as a way to “fix” LGBT+ people? Last I checked, straight people don’t deal with that. What about conversion therapy? Nothing like that for straight folk.

But sure, you need your cookie for being straight, right? 

Even though ON PAPER, LGBT+ people have the same rights as non, we are still treated as less than human in many places in the US. There are 30 states where you can be FIRED for being LGBT+. Show me a state where you can be fired just for being straight. It took a SUPREME COURT decision for homosexual people to be allowed to even fucking marry.

Something that should have been a “DUH” concept!

If you don’t know why I say that, read the 14th amendment. The 14th amendment states that one cannot deny rights from one group of people that another group has, which means that marriage should have been legal for LGBT+ people since it was legal for straight cisgender people, but it took a SCOTUS ruling to actually make people follow the law. And even still, we see places like in Oregon where a judge had to be forcibly removed from the bench for refusing to marry LGBT+ people because he didn’t agree with the law that he was supposed to uphold. And yet we STILL have states and lawmakers trying to reverse that because “Ewww! Gay people!”

Transgender people are constantly at the mercy of “gatekeeper” people who decide whether or not they are legitimate. Do you see straight people having to constantly go, “I’m straight!”? Or do we assume straight is the default setting? Do straight people get murdered just for being straight? LGBT+ people get murdered just for being LGBT+. Do parents kick their kids out of the house for “coming out” as straight? Or is that something we see with LGBT+ kids?

You all want to think that pride month is nothing more than LGBT+ flaunting themselves and being “proud” of being LGBT+, instead of a celebration and rememberance of all the battles we’ve fought to even get this far in life. We celebrate the lives of those who fought for us, we celebrate the overturning of corrupt laws meant to harm and silence us.

How about you do some reasearch and actually learn WHY pride month exists before whining about not getting a cookie for being straight. Learn WHY we celebrate. Learn WHY we continue to fight. Learn WHY we are tired of your bullshit straight pride day and your whining.

Go and learn your history before crying about not getting a cookie for being straight.

On Inclusive Language Regarding Pregnancy

I’m a trans man who is also the proud parent of one biological child and two step children. If being inclusive of people like me when it comes to pregnancy hurts your feelings….I just have to ask, are you 5, or are you just an asshole?


“Why should we say pregnant person instead of woman? THIS IS PC CULTURE!! (impotent rage)” *clears throat*

More info on trans men becoming pregnant, hence inclusive language is a positive sign in equality and fair treatment.

Why is it so hard for people to do research on this topic before screaming about evil PC culture?

Just because we don’t always make the news when we get pregnant, doesn’t mean trans men don’t get pregnant. We deserve to be treated with respect and dignity during our pregnancies. We deserve to NOT be misgendered. By saying “pregnant person” instead of woman we are being inclusive and compassionate towards those who become pregnant.

TL;DR: Don’t be a fucking dick to pregnant trans men.

TERF Warning Signs and Clues.

So….I’ve decided to go through various TERFs and TEFs that I’ve blocked and compile a list of “clues” and “warning signs” that someone might be a TERF/TEF. Obviously a quick check of their TL will generally give them away, but these are for “quick glance” checks.

 1) “Old School Lesbo” is one to check, especially when paired with 2) “Before the T got added to LGB” or 3) 80s gender bending.

EDIT: There is nothing wrong with “Old School Lesbo”, however please notice it is almost always paired with either an erasure of the T from LGBTQ+, or some other TERF warning sign.

 4) Profiles with XX or XY (yes men can be TERFs/TEFs)
EDIT: While there are some trans people using this, such as Chelsea Manning, it is something to take notice of and to pay attention to. This is almost always paired with other warning signs.

 5) Any profile using “Gender Critical” should be a RED FLAG.
6) Reduction of people to XX or XY when referring to them.
 7) TERFRAGETTE (this is a new one for me)

EDIT: They are claiming that like the suffragettes, they are pioneers and the original freedom fighters for a cause, though why would you want to fight for the erasure of a group of people? I mean, unless you’re really going for the whole suffragette thing, where it was only for rich white women and all other women were excluded….oh…

8) Thinking children transition and linking it to child abuse
Reason for this one is that children don’t transition, at the MOST they might be given puberty blockers. I’ve covered this in blogs and videos numerous times. Please see this series for more information: Breaking down the misinformation of the article “Gender Ideology Harms Children” 

9) The name “Goody” appearing in the names appears to be a good indicator. Usually shows up along with other signs.
EDIT: This is in reference to either the Salem Witch Trials (basically claiming they’re the victims of a witch hunt), The Crucible, A Handmaid’s Tale, or calling back to Puritanical practices.

10) Viewing CIS as a slur or claiming to not be cis but an “actual woman”.
Cis is a Latin prefix meaning same. This isn’t that hard people.

11) “Biological woman”
12) “Adult Human Female”
This goes along with the XX, and is generally a good sign that they are a TERF/TEF and is a form of intersex erasure as well.
EDIT: This also shows that the person does not have a full grasp of biology past that of a primary school level, or that they are being willfully ignorant.

13) Reducing “woman” to various organs/parts

14) “Women do not have penises”
There are multiple variations of this.
EDIT: If you are reducing gender down to sex organs, specifically penis and vagina, you should probably go back to school or at least listen to biologists who have been for a long time pointing out how bullshit your claims are.

15) Woman = Vagina
This is a variation of 13, but just…wow….

16) AFAB Transwoman
Assigned Female at Birth = Cis woman
Trans woman literally cannot be AFAB.
EDIT: Yes there are some who are intersex who can identify in this way, please do not assume I was attempting to erase them as I was not, the majority of people doing this are not intersex people, but TERFs who are attempting to make a mockery of how trans people identify in an attempt to erase them.

17) PERF (penis exclusionary radical feminism)
This one is a new one for me.

18) “Womanhood is not a feeling/costume” and variations.

19) Outright admitting to be a TERF (Goes along with TERFRAGETTE)

20) Mockery of putting pronouns in profiles, stating pronouns don’t matter

21) Asking for removal of T from LGBT+ / Outright refusal to add the T to LGBT+

22) Claiming gender was created to oppress women (da fuq?)
EDIT: Yes, western views of gender are used as a form of oppression in many countries and regions. This does not mean it was “invented” for the sole purpose to oppress a specific sex. 

 23) Claiming to not be against trans BUT….

 24) Gender = Construct vs Sex = Reality
This goes along with the “Biology matters” and other variations of science denial or 9th grade understanding of biology levels of ignorance.

25) Gynophobia

26) Feminism doesn’t intersect with penis and variations of this. (Similar to PERF)

27) “Keep AWS female” (all-women shortlists)

28) “Woman identifying as human”

29) Associating vagina with woman and claiming that having one is not hate (similar to the biology is not bigotry stuff)

30) “Trans cult”, “cult of transdenderism”, variations of

 31) “Gender solid”
This generally is paired with AFAB, OFAB (obviously female at birth), or variations.
EDIT: There have been some who have said OFAB means “Observed Female At Birth” as well, so please keep a note on that.

32) Not understanding puberty blockers, associating puberty blockers with HRT or that puberty blocker = child transitioning.

33) “Transing” and variations.

There are obviously many more examples and variations of the 33 signs I’ve noted. Many of the examples, such as “I’m not cis” or reducing oneself to chromosomes or sex organs, are similarly seen among anti-feminists and people like @stillgray who don’t understand sex and gender.

As you can see, many of the signs overlap/appear together with others.

 I posted screen shots and not links because I do NOT want people harassing these profiles or people. If you encounter them or go to their profiles, please do not engage them and just block them. I wished to show examples of warning signs, and could only do so this way.  Please use this as an educational resource, and I hope this helps many of my trans, NB, genderfluid, and gender non-conforming followers when sighting people who wish to erase them or do them harm. All examples used can be found here if someone is wishing to use them to preemptively block these awful people.


Thank you for following me down this rabbit hole of just….what the fuck…


Erasure of trans men in the trans community

This is in response to the article/tweet thread called, “Please stop erasing trans men from trans issues”

Ok, so here’s my issues with these two responses. Bottom response first:

Saying this continues to uphold and keep the status quo that harms men (cis and trans). This gives fuel to TERF’s lie that trans women are just men who want attention/things to be easy. Even though that is an outright lie, stuff like this gives them “sound bytes” to use and to twist to fit their narrative. This CAN be misconstrued as trans women using male privilege (which they don’t have) to shut down trans men speaking up about their issues.

This is a silencing tactic being used by a trans woman to shut down the issues trans men are facing.

Remember, if you’re only supportive of ONE part of the issue, you’re not actually supportive of the issue. You’re a salad bar supporter. You’re picking and choosing only to support the things that affect you, which shows MASSIVE privilege on your part.

On to the top response (since Twitter gives them newest to oldest). Please scroll up if you need to check again for what was said.

Never once did I say this is a cult. But thank you for spouting TERF and “gender critical”/anti-trans rhetoric. I see post video after article to people fucking SAYING THIS TO ME over and over. I’m constantly told I need to care about my “trans sisters”. I’m constantly told that feminists need to care about their trans sisters and not just cisters.

If you suddenly take offense to the term being used because a trans man is using it, please see my previous points about the status quo and salad bar support.

Seriously, I could not have asked for a better example of silencing tactics, attempt at erasure, usage if TERF rhetoric, upholding of the status quo, sounding like a stereotype/giving fuel to TERFs, and salad bar support than these two tweets.

Bottom line is this:

Trans men are constantly being silenced and erased/looked over.

This happens not just by cis people, as you can see.

Yes, we DESERVE recognition and a say in what happens in the trans community and when it comes to trans rights. If you’re someone who believes only trans women deserve recognition and a say in what goes on for trans people, then kindly take the nearest cactus, lube it up, and go fuck yourself. I got shit on while trying to live as a woman for being vocal about my issues, and as a trans man I get the very people who I have fucking fought for trying to silence me.

Guess what, I’m not going to be silent, not any more.

What can we do?

I wish that I could say that there is a simple solution to rape culture and the problem of rape and sexual assault on college campuses. I wish I could say that by simply telling people to respect others and to listen when someone says they’re not interested would fix the problem. I wish that simply holding athletes and those in power responsible for their actions and not letting them off the hook because they make the college money would fix the problem.

But wishing won’t get us anywhere.

With the rise of the Me Too hashtag on Twitter, and the push for survivors and victims to speak up about their sexual assaults, we are slowly seeing a change in the narrative surrounding sexual assault. Slowly the old myths and the usual push back from those who refuse to acknowledge the culture we live in are being undone by the sheer number of cases and people coming forward to speak up. While many of the people who committed the acts will never see a day in jail for their crimes, people are slowly learning that one day, it will all catch up to them.

So what do we do to fix the problem so we don’t have to play catch up when it comes to sexual assault?

The solution is two fold, we must work on educating and enforcing the laws and articles such as Title IX in schools, and we must begin education on consent and respect at an early age. While we are seeing tiny baby steps with working with adults, such as the formation of The White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault, which was formed in 2013, and students actively petitioning and protesting against sexual assaults on campus, it won’t fix the problem on its own.

So hear me out on this.

Most parents balk at the thought of teaching a child sex education, but the truth is that we begin teaching them the moment we start talking about their bodies. If we as parents and educators were to insist on using proper terminology for body parts while the child was a toddler, and we continue to reinforce the belief that if something doesn’t belong to you that you don’t touch it, we will begin to see progress in boundary respect and in how people interact with others.

When we’re little we’re told that if something isn’t ours, we aren’t to touch it without permission, correct?

When we’re little we’re told to keep our hands to ourselves when it comes to touching others, correct?

So what changes between the time we’re little to when we become adults? What happened to “if it’s not yours, don’t touch?”

What happened was that we taught our boys that it was ok to grab a girl’s hair, or to push her.. We taught girls that if a boy was mean to them or pulled their hair that the boy liked them. We began justifying bad behavior that we’d previously told them was wrong. We actively undo the rules that we set in place for our children and then wonder why they don’t follow the rules when they become adults. We teach boys that it’s ok to ignore a person who says “no” so long as the adults around them think it’s cute.

Yet then we turn around when they become of age and tell them what they’re doing is wrong!

Look at it from their point of view, they went from being treated like what they were doing was perfectly fine, but then the moment they turned 18 it became wrong again. How would you personally deal with that if you’d grown up that way? I bet you’d feel confused, possibly even like you’d been set up to be punished by some imaginary force (the Patriarchy!™) or by the evil feminists out there who are only out to punish men for some imaginary reason. They begin to buy into the belief that women only claim rape to ruin people’s lives, or as revenge. They gravitate towards the various “men’s rights” groups out there that tell them they’re not the ones to blame for their actions, they can’t help it that they want to do whatever they want to others or that they’ve been punished for things outside of their control.

If parents and the other adults around them simply kept consistent in their rules and in enforcing boundaries, many of the problems we’re seeing would most likely not exist. It would also remove many of the so-called “grey areas” surrounding sexual assault and rape. There are hundreds of different sites online that offer ways to teach children about sex and about bodily autonomy from a young age (as early as two in some cases), some of which I will list at the bottom for further reading, but every single one holds the same message:

Teach your children about their bodies, about privacy (boundaries included), touching, and age appropriate talk about sex.

The one thing that they all seem to ignore though, is the consistency needed to keep those lessons fresh and in place. As parents, we need to continue stressing the points we have taught, and to not fall back on harmful thoughts such as “if he hits you he likes you” or “boys will be boys”. As parents, we need to make sure that all children understand that they need to be respectful of others and to not assume that because they said yes once, that it will always be a yes.

We also as parents, need to respect our own children’s wishes. If a child doesn’t want to hug someone, then we shouldn’t force them, because that teaches them that their word of “no” means less than someone else’s. It makes us contradict ourselves, and teaches the children than no doesn’t always mean no (which then can lead to “they secretly wanted it!” excuses during a sexual assault case).

So, here’s what I propose:

  • We start teaching children early on about their bodies using proper terms (no “pee-pee” or “wee-wee” type words, but actual penis and vagina).

  • We teach and enforce the rule that if something doesn’t belong to you, you don’t touch it without permission.

  • We teach and enforce the rule that if you don’t want to be touched or to touch someone else, that you can say no and that it will be respected.

  • We teach children that if something does happen, that they can come forward and safely speak up about it to a trusted adult.

  • We STOP using excuses such as “boys will be boys” or excuses for assault such as “he doesn’t know how to show he likes you so he hits you”. There are no acceptable excuses for assault.

  • We make sure that adults receive “refresher” courses on consent and bodily autonomy.

  • We make it so that those who have been assaulted or harmed can come forward safely, regardless of sex, gender, orientation, race, or ethnicity. No more police judging them and turning them away at the door.

  • We make sure that those who need help can get help, through counseling, support services, etc, even if they never report their assault to authorities.

  • We actively work to ensure that male victims and survivors can come forward safely by breaking down the patriarchal lies about male rape victims.

While it will take a lot of work, we can turn things around and make things safer for students of all walks of life. Yes, crimes will still happen, but if we implement my proposed actions, we will not only see less of them, but the victims will be able to get the help they need instead of having to hide it from others and let it fester until it destroys them.

For further reading:

Sex Education:

Sex Education for Preschoolers

Age-by-age guide to talking to kids about sex

Toddlers and Sex Education

Sex education and talking about sex to children: 0-8 years

Sex education: Talking to toddlers and preschoolers about sex

Sexual Assault and Men:

Male Victims Of Campus Sexual Assault Speak Out ‘We’re Up Against A System That’s Not Designed To Help Us’

Male Survivors of Sexual Assault Bravely Share Their Stories In Project Unbreakable

Jason’s Story

For Male Survivors of Sexual Assault

Man tells his quite rare story of being raped by a woman

I Know Men Can Be Rape Victims Too

This story of a male rape survivor will shock you

Men and Rape

Captives recount boy rape in Sudan

Male Sexual Assault And Rape Survivors Reveal Why So Few Victims Come Forward

Matt – Because not all rape victims are females

The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading

What Happens After Men Get Raped in America

When Men Are Raped

A Male Survivor’s Story of Sexual Assault


Statistics about Sexual Violence

Victimes of Sexual Violence: Statistics

Prevalence, Incidence, andConsequences of Violence AgainstWomen: Findings From the NationalViolence Against Women Survey

Rape statistics

When Rape Culture Meets Reality:

An Unbelievable Story of Rape

Resources for Survivors:


Sexual Assault Victim Advocate Center

Safe Horizon